The whole interaction is a subtle and intricate art. Why most leaders get decisions all wrong.īut advice seekers and givers must clear significant hurdles, such as a deeply ingrained tendency to prefer their own opinions, irrespective of their merit, and the fact that careful listening is hard, time-consuming work. And the rule of reciprocity is a powerful binding force: Providing expert advice often creates an implicit debt that recipients will want to repay. As engaged listeners, they can also learn a lot from the problems that people bring them. Those who give advice effectively wield soft influence-they shape important decisions while empowering others to act. They add nuance and texture to their thinking-and, research shows, they can overcome cognitive biases, self-serving rationales, and other flaws in their logic. Those who are truly open to guidance (and not just looking for validation) develop better solutions to problems than they would have on their own. When the exchange is done well, people on both sides of the table benefit. And advising is typically treated as a matter of “good judgment”-you either have it or you don’t-rather than a competency to be mastered. Receiving guidance is often seen as the passive consumption of wisdom. Yet managers seldom view them as practical skills they can learn and improve. Seeking and giving advice are central to effective leadership and decision making. And by becoming a better adviser, you’ll extend your influence and learn from the people who come to you for guidance. The Benefitsīy seeking advice from the right people-and in the right ways-you can develop smarter solutions to problems, deepen your thinking, and sharpen your decision making. The Solutionįortunately, you can master the art of advice by adopting a framework of best practices, drawn from a substantial body of research. Doing it badly can lead to flawed decisions, strained relationships, and stalled careers. Leaders must learn how to give and receive advice effectively to do their jobs well, but the exchange is hard work on both sides of the table. Overall, the authors’ guidelines amount to a fundamental shift in approach: a creative, collaborative way of understanding problems and crafting promising paths forward-which often requires an ongoing conversation. Example: At stage 4, when it’s time to narrow down the options, a seeker might review discarded or briefly considered ideas, and his adviser might play devil’s advocate-to check for confirmation bias. Each stage includes suggestions for seekers and for advisers. The authors define the five stages of advising: (1) finding the right fit (2) developing a shared understanding (3) crafting alternatives (4) converging on a decision and (5) putting advice into action. They draw on a large body of research to identify the most common obstacles to effectively seeking and giving advice-such as thinking one already has the answers, defining the problem poorly, and overstepping boundaries-and offer practical guidelines for getting past them. The authors argue instead that they are practical skills you can learn and apply to great effect. But managers tend to view these competencies as “gifts” that one either has or lacks. Seeking and giving advice are central to effective leadership and decision making, and they require emotional intelligence, self-awareness, restraint, diplomacy, and patience on both sides.
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